Although Manvin may seem like a quirky kind of guy at first (but then again, that’s why I respect him) no matter how much people get in his way about being “gay” or how much people judge him for being diffent, he looks beyond it. For example on page 10, “Only I got sick of living in the box the world prescribed; it was far too small to hold me. So I knocked down a few walls.” After analyzing this piece of evidence, we see that Manvin is in fact aware of his quirkiness and if he wanted he could change to the “average normal person” but I love the fact that he isn’t going to let society (the box the world prescribed) control who he is. When Manvin describes himself “knocking down a few walls” I feel like I can relate to this metaphor on a much deeper level. For instance I’m sure everyone has felt this way before but personally sometimes I feel really small in comparison to the world….sometimes all I am able to see are the negative sides to life and that’s all I seem to focus on. This metaphorical description makes me think deeper about my thoughts of feeling “small” and I wonder if maybe it’s time for me to go out a make space for myself….maybe it’s time for me to break down a few walls….
This brings me to my second point. I think the wall is an interesting symbol because not only does it symbolize Manvin’s strength to push through what other people think of him, but I’m sure it has multiple meanings….I wonder what’s on the other side of the wall. I mean, walls are built to separate one thing from another, right? So perhaps this wall was separating Manvin from something much bigger than we can imagine. These thoughts became part of my curiosity when I read page 7, “Honey, I did a lot of screaming and shouting while it was happening. Afterward too, for that matter. Didn’t do me a bit of good—I was still dead. Once you’ve been on the other side for a while, you get a little more zen with these types of things.” First off I have to figure out what Manvin is talking about—I’m not completely sure but I think that he is referring to when he was letting himself be bullied. I can make this inference because on page 4 he says “I had to deal with my share of troglodytes when I was your age.” So I think Manvin is basically making a point saying that when you are in the process of being bullied and judged, no matter what you do, if you allow others to identify you, you are going to die. And I don’t actually think he means he dies literally; I think it’s more metaphoric. More like you will no longer have control over who you are since you’re letting others identify you. When Manvin talks about the “other side” I believe that he is referring to the other side of the wall and how he had to break it down to actually experience what it was like on the other side….in other words he had to ignore the bullies and stand up for himself to be able to experience life truthfully without trying to hide or fit in.
Ok. I’m going to have to admit it. Butch is an amazing character in the story. He’s a perfect contrast to Manvin’s character. While Manvin is himself and won’t let anyone stand in his way, Butch IS the bully but we realize why at the end. Honestly when I found out that he was completely gay, I was confused. Why would he be bullying Vincent for “supposedly” being gay at the beginning of the story when HE was all along? I think Butch bullied Vincent even though he was gay because he was afraid to be judged if he was himself and just admitted his differences. So by bullying Vincent in that way, he “made” himself innocent of being gay. This interesting contrast between Manvin and Butch has helped me understand the world a little better. Now I realize that people who judge others are really only hurting themselves because then they are afraid to be bullied and judged as well; thus, most likely not revealing much about themselves or just faking who they are.
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